Bystander Intervention and Prevention

Stop Incidents Before They Occur: Talk to Your Friends About Intervening!

Notice the Incident: The first step in bystander intervention is noticing the incident. If bystanders do not observe the situation, they cannot help. Always be aware of your surroundings.

Interpret the Incident as an Emergency: Bystanders must assess the situation to determine if it is an emergency or if someone needs assistance. If the situation is not perceived as requiring help, intervention is unlikely.

Assume Responsibility: Bystanders must decide if they should take responsibility for intervening. Research shows that the presence of multiple bystanders often diffuses responsibility. If you are the only bystander, you are more likely to assume responsibility.

Decide How to Respond Appropriately: Once you decide to act, consider the safest and most effective way to intervene. Here are some options:

• Direct Response: Take direct responsibility and confront the situation.
• Distraction: Use a distraction to redirect focus.
• Delegate: Ask someone else to intervene, such as the police, security, or another authority.

Take Action: Taking action can involve helping someone leave the situation, confronting problematic behavior, diffusing the situation, or calling for additional support or security. Bystanders play a crucial role in creating a safe environment by addressing problematic behaviors before they escalate.

Educate Yourself and Share Information

• Learn about interpersonal violence.
• Share this knowledge with friends.
• Confront friends who excuse abusive behavior.
• Speak out against racist, sexist, and homophobic jokes or remarks.

Tips for Intervening in Situations Involving Sexual Assault, Relationship Violence, or Stalking:

• Approach everyone as a friend.
• Avoid being antagonistic.
• Do not use violence.
• Be honest and direct whenever possible.
• Recruit help if necessary.
• Ensure your own safety.
• If the situation escalates, contact the police.

Creating an Empowering Climate

The best way bystanders can help prevent interpersonal violence is by addressing and diffusing problematic behaviors before they escalate. By educating yourself and others, and by intervening safely and responsibly, you contribute to a safer and more respectful community.

Recognizing the signs of an abusive partner is crucial for maintaining a healthy and safe relationship. Below is a list of behaviors commonly seen in individuals who abuse their partners. If someone exhibits more than three warning signs, there is a strong potential for abuse. Even if an abuser shows only a few of these behaviors, they may be quite exaggerated.

Common Abusive Behaviors

• Past Abuse: An abuser might say, "I hit someone in the past, but she made me do it." Minimizing past violent behavior is a red flag that indicates a likelihood of repeating such actions. Abusive behavior often persists without long-term counseling and a sincere desire to change.
• Threats of Violence or Abuse: Abusers use threats to control their victims. For example, "I'll tell your parents about your drug use if you don't do what I want." Healthy relationships do not involve threats. Abusers often justify this behavior by claiming, "Everybody talks like that."
• Breaking Objects: An abuser may break things, beat on tables, or throw objects around or near the victim. This behavior is intended to terrorize the victim and imply that physical abuse could be the next step.
• Use of Force During Arguments: Using force during arguments, such as holding the victim down, physically restraining them from leaving the room, or pushing and shoving, is a clear sign of abuse. For instance, an abuser may hold a victim against the wall and say, "You're going to listen to me."
• Jealousy: An abuser will say jealousy is a sign of love, but it is actually a sign of insecurity and possessiveness. They may question the victim about whom they talk to or be jealous of time spent with others. As jealousy escalates, the abuser might call frequently, stop by unexpectedly, or monitor the victim's activities.
• Controlling Behavior: Abusers often justify their controlling behavior as concern for the victim's welfare. They may be angry if the victim is late and frequently interrogate them. Over time, they may try to control the victim's appearance and activities.
• Quick Involvement: Abusers often pressure their partners into quick commitments, claiming "love at first sight" and making flattering statements like, "You're the only person I could ever love."
• Unrealistic Expectations: Abusers depend heavily on their victims and expect perfection. They might say, "You're the only person I need in my life," and rely on the victim for all emotional support.
• Isolation: Abusers attempt to destroy the victim's support system. They may accuse female victims with male friends of being promiscuous or female friends of being lesbians. They may claim close family ties are unhealthy and accuse those close to the victim of "causing trouble."
• Blaming Others for Problems: Abusers rarely admit fault and blame the victim for almost anything that goes wrong.
• Blaming Others for Their Feelings: An abuser might say, "I hurt you because you made me mad," or "You're hurting me when you don't do what I ask." This manipulation helps them avoid responsibility.
• Hypersensitivity: Abusers are easily insulted and view minor setbacks as personal attacks. They might rage about everyday difficulties as if they are major injustices, such as getting a traffic ticket or not doing well on an exam.
• Cruelty to Animals or Children: Abusers might brutally punish animals or be insensitive to their pain, using pets to control or emotionally abuse the victim.
• "Playful" Use of Force During Sex: Abusers might enjoy holding the victim down during sex or acting out fantasies where the victim is helpless. They may show little concern for the victim's willingness and use sulking or anger to manipulate compliance. They might also demand sex or initiate it when the victim is asleep or intoxicated.
• Rigid Sex Roles: Male abusers often expect women to serve and obey them, viewing women as inferior and incomplete without a man.
• Jekyll-and-Hyde Personality: Abusers often display mood swings and unpredictability, which can be a method of control rather than a sign of mental health issues.

Recognizing these signs early can help prevent further abuse and ensure a safer, healthier relationship. If you or someone you know is experiencing these behaviors, seek help immediately.

No victim is ever to blame for being assaulted or abused. Unfortunately, a person who is the victim of sexual or dating violence is more likely to be re-victimized. Below are some tips to help reduce your risk, and how to avoid potential attacks.

If you are being abused or suspect that someone you know is being abused, speak up or intervene.

• Get help by contacting the Campus Counselor and/or Student Health Center for support services 
• Learn how to look for "red flags" in relationships so you can learn to avoid some of those characteristics in future partners
• Consider getting a protective order or stay away order
• Learn more about what behaviors constitute dating and domestic violence, understand it is not your fault, and talk with friends and family members about ways you can be supported.
• Trust your instincts—if something doesn't feel right in a relationship, speak up or end it.

Be Aware of Rape Drugs

• Watch Your Drink: Never leave your drink unattended.
• Drink Safely: Only consume beverages from unopened containers or those you have seen being made and poured.
• Avoid Group Drinks: Stay away from communal drinks like punch bowls.

Protect Your Drink

• Cover Your Drink: Even while holding your drink, it’s easy for someone to slip in a small pill. Hold a cup with your hand over the top or choose a bottle and keep your thumb over the nozzle.

Recognize Signs of Drugging

• Unexplained Symptoms: If you feel extremely tired or drunk without having consumed much alcohol, you might have been drugged. Immediately find your friends and leave.
• Seek Medical Help: If you suspect you have been drugged, go to a hospital and request testing.

Manage Your Alcohol Intake

• Track Your Drinks: Keep a count of how many drinks you’ve had to avoid overconsumption.

Stay with Trusted People

• Group Safety: Arrive and leave with a group of people you trust.

Protect Your Personal Information

• Be Cautious: Avoid giving out personal details like your phone number or address. If someone asks for your number, take theirs instead of sharing yours.

By following these tips, you can enhance your safety and reduce the risk of sexual assault. Stay vigilant and take proactive steps to protect yourself and your friends.

Stay Connected

• Accessible Cell Phone: Ensure your cell phone is easily accessible and fully charged.
• Know Emergency Phone Locations: Be familiar with the locations of emergency phones on campus.
• Open Buildings: Be aware of open buildings where you can use a phone in an emergency.

Choose Safe Paths

• Use Major Paths: Stick to major, public paths rather than shortcuts that are less populated.
• Avoid Dimly Lit Areas: Avoid poorly lit places. Report areas that need better lighting to campus services.

Stay Aware

• Limit Headphone Use: Avoid using headphones in both ears to stay more aware of your surroundings, especially when walking alone.
• Walk with a Friend: If you need to walk back from the library late at night, try to walk with a friend.

• Noisemaker: Keep a noisemaker, like a whistle, on your keychain.
• Flashlight: Carry a small flashlight on your keychain.

Utilize Campus Services

• Call Campus Security: If walking feels unsafe, call campus security. Many campuses offer safe ride programs.

By following these tips, you can enhance your personal safety while walking around campus. Stay vigilant and use campus resources to ensure a secure and comfortable environment.

Alcohol Safety Tips

• Designate a Sober Driver: Always have a sober driver to ensure you get home safely.
• Don't Drink on an Empty Stomach: Eat foods high in protein and fat, such as cheese or nuts.
• Set a Limit: Decide how much you will drink and stick to it.
• Avoid Drinking Games: Avoid beer bongs, chugging, and drinking games.
• Know Your Limits: Recognize when you've had enough.
• Stay Hydrated: Alternate alcoholic beverages with water and drink plenty of water to stay hydrated.
• Mind Your Mood: Avoid drinking when hungry, angry, lonely or tired.
• Pace Yourself: Drink slowly and eat between alcoholic drinks. It takes the body 60-90 minutes to fully feel the effects of alcohol on a full stomach.
• Recognize Alcohol Poisoning Symptoms: Be aware of the symptoms of alcohol poisoning.
• Guard Your Drinks: Never leave your drinks unattended or accept an open beverage from anyone.

Facts About Alcohol and Sexual Assault

• Alcohol and Assault: Perpetrators often use alcohol to incapacitate victims, making it easier to commit sexual assault.
• Date-Rape Drugs: While substances like Rohypnol and GHB are known as date-rape drugs, alcohol remains the most commonly used substance in drug-facilitated sexual assaults. 
• Dating Violence: Alcohol is frequently involved in cases of dating violence, with a significant portion of campus sexual assaults involving alcohol consumption by either the victim or the perpetrator.
• Acquaintance Rape: A high percentage of acquaintance rapes involve alcohol or drug use by either the assailant or the victim before the incident.
• Campus Assaults: More than half of campus sexual assaults involve alcohol or drug use by the offender or the victim.
• Unwanted Sex: The majority of college students who experienced unwanted sex were under the influence of alcohol at the time.
• Misinterpretation: There is a prevalent misconception among men that a woman who drinks alcohol on a date is consenting to sex, with a significant percentage believing it is acceptable to force sex on an intoxicated woman.
• Impaired Resistance: A substantial number of college women who were raped believed their ability to resist was impaired due to alcohol consumption.
• Coercion and Manipulation: Assailants often use various forms of coercion, threats, and manipulation, including the use of alcohol and drugs, to commit rape.
• Judgment Impairment: Alcohol impairs judgment and lowers inhibitions, increasing the likelihood of committing sexual assault.
• Reflex Impairment: Alcohol slows reflexes and diminishes the ability to recognize potentially dangerous situations.
• Misinterpretation of Signals: Under the influence of alcohol, men are more prone to misinterpreting a woman's social signals, such as smiles or laughter, as consent for sex.
• Violence is Never Justified: Sexual assault is a violent crime, and intoxication cannot be used as a defense for committing such an act.

Rape Aggression Defense System (R.A.D.)